Friday, January 16, 2015

What Adults Can Learn From "this star won't go out"

  1. This is the 2nd post in a series about the books I am loving right now.


    this star won't go out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl
    by Esther Earl, Wayne Earl, Lori Earl, and John Green

Adults forget...not because we are old, but because we want to believe that we weren't something that we surely were.

this star won't go out was my wakeup call to this fact, and it was a call that hit me over the course of the 2 or 3 days it took me to cry my way through its pages.

What do we forget?  We forget what being a teenager was like.  We forget the emotion, the closeness and importance of friends, the real worries and concerns about the future.  We forget that many of us were worthy, deep thinking, caring, fragile people.  As adults, we discount the intelligence of teen's thoughts and the truth of their reality.  I think we do this because we know our adult lives are harder than our teenage lives were.  We see them and think just you wait.  Lately, I have had a hard time seeing them as anything other than horrible little creatures who only want to live in fake, on-line worlds.  I have been wrong. I am wrong.  Ester Earl and her family and friends have taught me that, and I'm glad they did!


So the book...
To talk about  this book, first I have to talk about another book that most of the young adult world (and some of the adult world) has heard of.  It is called The Fault in Our Stars.  It was written by John Green, a very popular YA author and on-line personality.  Google "John Green" and you will be immersed in hours of reading and videos that educate you, make you laugh, make you want to be awesome, feed your obsessions with all things nerdy and Harry Potter, and well you get the idea.  He is pretty fantastic.

Anyway, John Green was writing a book about teens with cancer.  While he was writing it, he met a girl named Ester Earl at a Harry Potter convention called LeakyCon. (Um yeah, how cool is that?)  He happened to be her favorite author, and before she left this world, she became one of his favorite people. No joke, he created "Ester Day" and celebrates it every year on her birthday in the way that she asked it to be celebrated.  Anyway, though The Fault in Our Stars is not based on Ester Earl's life, other than the fact that she had cancer and had to be hooked up to oxygen 24 hours a day, she influenced the way he told the story.  It is a book I would recommend, but you don't need to read it to be impacted by Ester's story.

this star won't go out is a compilation of Ester's diaries, drawings, letters to her family, and on-line chat transcripts, her parent's entries on the CaringBridge website, and essays about her from her friends, family, and doctors.  Each piece of this book is a testament to the world that we- adults- need to give credit and validity to the teens in our lives.  To truly understand any of the lessons I learned, you need to read the book yourself.  I promise you that you will cry your way through it (if you have an ounce of humanity in you).  You will cry a lot, and I think you will be glad for it.

The overarching reminders in this book are obvious and magnificently important.  Our time on this earth is fragile and fleeting.  Love is what matters. Thank God for every moment you have with the people you care about. Cancer sucks! That right there is enough of a lesson for everyone, but I want to take the time to share what I learned about the generation of teens from this book that the world as a whole needs to see and needs to search out.

1. On-line friends are real friends. Don't discount their importance.
2. Teens worries and emotions are valid. We can help them through, but not if we tell them to just get over themselves.
3. Not every teenager is a self-centered brat. They just aren't.
4. Teens love ferociously.  They love their families. They love their friends.  They aren't just concerned with romantic love.
5. They can change the world.  Give them the chance!

And just because I always feel the need to end on a more up beat note...These are the top 5 things I feel the need to know or do now because I read this book.

1. Am I too old to be a "nerdfighter" or go to Leaky Con or like Harry Potter Wizard Rock (Wrock) music?  (please say no)
2. I need to find out more about and catch up on the "wrock" music world.
3. I must carve out hours to watch Ester Earl's and John Green's vlogs. He has a gazillion YouTube channels. Just google him.
4. I want to join the Harry Potter Alliance.  It is not just a crazy fan group.  They are changing the world.
5. What am I doing to help decrease "worldsuck"?  How can I help teenagers become part of answer to decreasing "worldsuck"?

Yeah, so I'm gonna go teach some cool kids some cool stuff now.  Go get this book. The tears will be more than worth it!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Murdering My Youth by Cady McClain

I met Cady McClain at Write the Dream last March.  I knew who she was from her days on the soap opera All My Children.  I had a babysitter named Alice who loved daytime TV.  All My Children was one of my favorites. Yes, I loved soap operas long before I should have been watching them, but that is an entirely different story...

Anyway, Cady led a workshop that was amazing and helped me to create some really good pieces of writing.  Some I have shared, some I haven't. She is one of three or four real celebrities that I have ever met, but more, she is one of the most genuine and real human beings I have ever talked to.  She made me, and I think, the rest of the attendees of the writing conference feel like we really mattered and that our work really mattered.

At the conference she talked about her book and about the process and pain she went through to write and publish it.  Now that I have read her story I know why it was so hard.  I also have even more respect for her as a person.  She did not have an upbringing that would typically turn out such a genuinely kind person.  To say that Cady was taken advantage of as a child by her parents and others close to her would be an understatement of epic proportions.  Her experiences are nearly unbelievable, so heart wrenching, so raw, and yet she tells it like it is.  Her ability to put her life on the page with no holds barred is what kept me reading.  I finished this book in about 2 sittings.  I just could not stop.  She is proof that a person can come through devastation, can learn from mistakes of others and herself, and in the end can learn to trust in humanity again.

When our workshop was over and I was saying goodbye to Cady, she gave me a hug (or let me give her one).  I didn't think anything of it.  She was just that sort of warm, sweet person.  The kind of person who you want to hug.  After reading her book, I look back at that moment now and see something a little more special.  Trusting someone to be in her personal space like that is a big deal, and she trusted me.  Thanks, Cady! Thanks for sharing yourself with me, with other aspiring writers, and with the world.

Check out Cady's website here to find out more about her and to get your own copy of this amazing read.


Saturday, January 10, 2015

I Love Books

There are very few things that I would rather do than read a book.  In fact, if I am not currently living in the world of a good book, I get very irritable and tend towards a mini-depressive state.  Because I know that about myself, I often have 2 or 3 books going and about 20 on reserve at my bedside or on my Kindle.  I always ask for books for gifts and they are usually my favorite presents.  I check out tons of things from the library even though I know I won't get to them before they are due.  I have no idea if I am like other readers in the obsessions that I have with particular books.  I go back to certain ones and read them again and again.  Others, I don't read more than once, but they just become a part of me.

Though my life is nothing that I need to escape from, I revel in the escape of words and worlds and wonders that are created inside my mind.  I love learning and delving into the topics and people that are coming alive on the pages for me.  My favorite real life people (besides my dear husband and children, of course) are the people who will talk "books" with me.  My mom, my book club girls, the librarian at my school, the substitute teachers who bring me books they've finished and loved.  And so before I get sappy and philosophical on you about why books are life... on to the real point.

Recently, I've been reading a lot more than usual. This means I am reading a lot, a lot instead of just a lot.  This is partly do to the fact I had 2 weeks off from work for Christmas Break and partly due to the fact that it has been so cold.  I don't want to do anything but cozy up in bed with a book and a hot cup of tea.

I've read some great ones in these last few weeks and I would like to share what I think about them here in the next few posts.  Come back soon for my thoughts on Murdering My Youth by Cady McClain, this star won't go out by Ester Earl with Lori and Wayne Earl, The Clan of the Cave Bear Series by Jean M. Auel, and a re-read of Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon.

I have been touched personally in some way by each of these titles and I believe that is what makes a "good read."  So, I won't be evaluating them for their literary value (though they definitely have it), I will be telling you why they work for me and how they have changed my thinking or encouraged me to do better or be better.  I will let you know why they stuck because lots of books don't.  The books that stick are the books worth reading.  And if in the next few weeks you happen to pick up one of these titles, come back and let me know what you thought.

My Murdering My Youth post will be up sometime in the next couple of days.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Hay Creek Finery

Last night I started a poem in my head when I was trying to go to sleep...what to do?  

1) Go to sleep and hope to remember all my brilliance in the morning...or 


2) Get out of bed as quietly as possible, grab pen and notepad that just happen to be on the night stand without knocking all the other crap off, sneak into the bathroom, close the door in epic, silent slow motion, turn on the light, be blinded just a little, and then sit down on the closed toilet seat and scribble the poem down as quickly as is humanly possible...all while hoping my husband doesn't think I'm in there texting my boyfriend. (He would never think that. We're both way too lazy to keep up that kind of scheme!)


Well obviously I chose #2.  #1 would have been way too hard!
Here is the poem about one of my favorite places on earth...



Hay Creek Finery

Hay Creek Ranch is a place like no other

In fact, you'll want to write home to your mother
You'll ask to stay, to never leave
The fun and the beauty are too much to believe
There are horses and dogs
Kittens and frogs
Good coffee and smiles that never end
Campfires and s'mores and new lifelong friends
Out on the trails you can ride and ride
Your horse'll go through the water, no matter how wide
You can saddle up, sit back, see what God's given you 
When you come to Hay Creek, that's all you can do
You'll come in with your horse, and a bit of free time
And you'll always leave knowing that, "It'll be fine!"


Hay Creek Ranch is my parents' place where people can go to ride their horses in the Black Hills.  Part of my reason for loving it so much is my love for my parents.  But honestly, I'd be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't think they're awesome.  If you have horses (or if you don't) and you would like to see the Black Hills, check out their website at http://www.haycreekranch.net.  They also have a winter camp in Arizona.  You can link to that on their main page.  Or you can check them out on Facebook at Hay Creek Ranch Horse Camp.  




New Blog Title, Same Blog Content

If you know me at all, you know that I am trying to make a little push into the world of being an author.  I needed my blog name to match the name I have used so far on the few pieces that have been published.  Same blog, different name.

Please share my posts when you feel they are worth sharing.  I would love the help of my friends and family to get my name out there.  Right now I am working on poetry, children's picture books, and a young adult novel.

My published work can be seen at 3elementsreview.com in Issues 2 and 3 and at www.thevoicesproject.org in the Poetry Library on December 17, 2014.

Happy reading!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Yahoo Voices Bit the Dust...

So Yahoo Voices!, the place I had published a few articles to, has shut down.  I am currently looking for new places to publish, but I didn't want the 3 articles I had to be left out in internet purgatory.  I am posting them here so they will always have a home.  Looking at them now, I see that these articles pretty much encompass most of what I love about my life: reading, teaching, and my family.  

5 Books I Can’t Live Without
This article first appeared on Yahoo Voices! May 21, 2014

Books, to those of us who love them, are a necessity for life.  As we go through our reading lives, we may read hundreds, even thousands, of books, but there are always a few titles that reward us with more than entertainment or knowledge.  These books become part of our being.  Their images live in our minds.  Their characters are as real to us as our dearest friends.  These are the books that we return to over and over again.  These are our personal “classics.” If I could only take five books to a deserted island, these would be my choices, my classics. 

The Young Adult Classic
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

This book makes the cut because Lucy in the snow beneath the lamppost is the first literary image that is a permanent fixture in my mind’s photo album. I found her in a box at a garage sale when I was 11, and she has been with me ever since. This old, musty hard cover copy of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was the first book that I would ever read more than once because C.S. Lewis did what every author hopes to do.  He transported me to a non-existent place and made me believe again and again.  He opened up my young mind to all the powers of good and evil, and he made me see how hard the choice between the two could be.  Twenty-five years later I still find myself going back to Narnia when I want to be lost in another time and place.

The Beach Read
Sullivan’s Island by Dorothea Benton Frank

Benton Frank made me fall in love with the Low Country of South Carolina long before I ever set foot on its beaches.  Sullivan’s Island makes the cut because if I can only escape in my mind, the Low Country is where I want to be. Livvie, a Gullah woman of slave decent who cares for the dysfunctional family, is the character that still visits me when I least expect it.  Her voice has even prompted me to include her culture as a major part of a novel I’m currently planning.  Since I didn’t grow up Southern, Benton Frank’s version of it is the next best thing.

The Heroic Adventure
The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

I would like to take the liberty of including the series as one book.  I cannot live with out Harry and his friends in my life, plain and simple.  With each read something new is gained or realized.  I could never tire of them.  But you want me to choose one book, right?  If I must, it would have to be Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  I enjoy it the most because the whole story matures during this book.  The characters, the friendships, the element of danger, Voldemort; everything changes.  Because I know the story inside and out, this turning point book is the one I would read over and over if I could choose only one.

The Literary Classic
The Complete Stories by Flannery O’Connor

There is no work of literature that has left so many images in my mind that horrify me, make me rethink life in general, and humor me in such dark ways, often all within a few pages.  So many of her stories are worth reading time and again.  Lucky for me they are all in one hefty volume to delight or terrify me all my reading life.

The Undefined, Everything Genre
The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon


While I consider myself a serious fan of one other series I may have mentioned earlier, I am completely, 110%, totally obsessed with the epic series Gabaldon has created.  This series cannot be defined by genre because it has everything any reader could need.  Love, honor, sacrifice, scathing impropriety, time-travel, history lessons, wars, castles, kilts, witches, secret pasts, hidden futures…you get the idea.  The only real obsession I have ever had revolves around the lives of Jamie and Claire. I will not choose one book in this series. I can’t. I will take them all with me if this desert island exile ever comes true.  Hopefully, it can wait until June 10th when the newest book in the series, Written in My Own Heart's Blood, arrives in my mailbox.



Life Lessons on a Seesaw
This article first appeared on Yahoo Voices! Mar. 18, 2014

I took my kids to a tiny neighborhood park today. It is off the beaten path, slightly obscure. My husband and I took our son there once when he was a toddler years ago. The play structure was too high for him. We freaked out and went home.  That quick exit may be why I never noticed something that is rarely seen on a playground these days: a seesaw.
While I helped my kids to understand the mechanics of this new device, I realized that it might be one of the best pieces of equipment that isn't typically installed on playgrounds anymore. Maybe it has gone away from schoolyards because it excludes all but two children. Though, worry of liability and safety are most likely the culprits of its forced extinction. 

I was saddened for today's kids a bit when I remembered the sheer joy this lever with two seats and handles provided for my best friend and me in our playground days. I began to see the lessons that could be learned from its simple "up and down."
The seesaw itself is a lesson in building a trusting relationship. It is the one thing on the playground you can't do alone. You and your friend must work together. You have to find the balance of your push and your weight. If you don't "push" your own weight, you don't go anywhere. If you don't pay attention to the weight of your friend you could come down too quickly, ding your heels. If you quit working altogether, and let your seat hit the ground, your friend gets an unpleasant bump as well. It only works when each finds the rhythm of the other.
This is an essential life lesson. Find the balance of give and take in every relationship. Be aware of the needs of the other person and they will be aware of your needs. Failing to do this ends in a hard bump for both sides.
Face to face conversations are slowly going extinct these days. The seesaw is one place on the playground where this could happen with little distraction. Once the rhythm is there, nothing is stopping the conversation from flowing. My best friend and I coveted the chance to be the first pair to the seesaw. It meant we had time to ourselves to talk about whatever we wanted. It is a joy our fast paced world is slowly killing.
Truly focused one-on-one chats with a friend build people up and make them feel worthwhile. In this world of having to include everyone, our kids are missing out on this gift of building close friendships.

Today, my kids found their balance with each other. My son didn't mind working a little harder so that his little sister could have the same fun he was having. It only took a couple hard bounces for them to figure out that the bumps weren't worth it. They worked together to get Mommy in on the fun. It was gratifying for them to find that they could raise me up in the air if we all sat in just the right place. We had to find the compromise between our push and our weight. We talked to each other without a care in the world for anything else. This relic of playground history reconnected us by putting us face to face and encouraging us to find our balance in each other.

Classroom Management Through Relationships
This article first appeared on Yahoo Voices! Feb. 25, 2014

“Don’t smile until Christmas.”  Teachers have all heard this advice in at least one education course. This classroom management tip is supposed to help new teachers strike fear and respect into students.  But today this mindset doesn’t seem to fly, especially at the high school level.  If you want a sure fire way to spend less time on classroom management, spend more time building real relationships with your students. 
 
Get to know your students as people.
Students need to know that we see them as more than a missing assignment or a bad test grade.  What are they good at? What do they like to do outside of the school day?  It takes time to find these things out, but it also saves time in the end.  Students are much more willing to work for a teacher who seems to genuinely take interest in them.  I recently had a new student who desperately wanted to get kicked out of class.  I knew this and I wouldn’t give in. Then I found out that he enjoyed working on engines.  We chatted a bit about this for a few minutes and since then, he has been a model student for me.  I treated him like a real person worthy of my time, and he has reciprocated the gesture.

Show your students that you are a real person.
Students need to see that teachers are more than just talking heads spewing mathematical equations or grammar rules.  We are real people.  We have good days and bad days.  We make mistakes, and we don’t know everything.  We need our coffee in the morning and our chocolate in the afternoon.  Students are always amazed to find out that teachers like some of the same things they do.   Conversations about movies, books, sports, and TV shows may seem like a waste of time, but in the end it makes us human to them.  These connections build the respect that we need in our classrooms.

Build on the positive.
Students generally know what they don’t know.  They don’t need to be told.  Instead they need to see what they do well and how they can build to make improvements.   I start every year with a discussion about what my responsibility to them is as a teacher.  I explain that I never make corrections or suggest changes to their work in an effort to make them feel bad.  I do it to help them improve.  My goal is to help them be a better student by the time they leave my class.  Improvements of any size are successes.  Many students need to see small successes in order to be motivated to reach for bigger things.  Classroom management strategies aren’t as necessary in a room full of motivated students.

Trust your students until they give you a reason not to.
Most kids are good kids.  There are always a few who ruin it for the bunch.  You know who they are, but be careful about the time wasted in power struggles because you assume the worst. My students know that my answer to their questions about bathroom or locker use will always be “Yes,” until they give me a reason to say “No.”  They like the bit of freedom they have, and the majority don’t abuse it because they know they can lose it.

Have fun.
You have to teach your lessons, and you have to be professional.  You can’t always be super entertaining.  But you don’t have to be bored or boring.  If you are tired of listening to yourself, chances are you lost your students half an hour ago.  Lighten up.  Connect to their real life, make a joke, let them talk and explain their understandings and frustrations.  Students feed off of our enthusiasm.  Give them something to work with.

At the end of the day, we all have to remember that no teacher has ever been or ever will be loved by every student.  It’s not possible.  But, bottom line, students are more likely to engage if they feel connected to their teachers, and engaged students tend to manage themselves. 



Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Haiku Fun or Just Trying to Make it to May 29


As I'm winding down the year with my Junior level English class, I am running out of steam.  Amazingly enough, my four special needs students (all with some type of reading or writing disability) are begging me for free writing days.  Well, OK!  So today we did a lesson on Haiku.  Here is my example and a few of their pieces.  I did not make them stick to nature as a topic, but some chose to do that anyway.

My example:
end of the school year
no one can really focus
let's just write haiku

Student examples:

Missouri’s weather
is terribly bi-polar
forever changing

the color of black
deep dark place of no return
chilling scary place

Freezing ice and snow.
I like the snowy weather.
Building a snowman.

Lady Gaga
Be unique. It’s fun.
Quirky, a different thing.
It’s good to be weird.

After we got past the slight issue of counting syllables, I was pretty impressed.  They commented that having some rules as to the structure actually helped them be more productive.  I often feel the same way.  So, to all the writers out there….give yourself some rules if you are stuck.  You might find yourself flying across the page again.  And to all of my teacher friends, let them do some creative writing if you need a little pick-me-up, you may be surprised at what they really do have in them.