Murdering My Youth by Cady McClain

I met Cady McClain at Write the Dream last March.  I knew who she was from her days on the soap opera All My Children.  I had a babysitter named Alice who loved daytime TV.  All My Children was one of my favorites. Yes, I loved soap operas long before I should have been watching them, but that is an entirely different story...

Anyway, Cady led a workshop that was amazing and helped me to create some really good pieces of writing.  Some I have shared, some I haven't. She is one of three or four real celebrities that I have ever met, but more, she is one of the most genuine and real human beings I have ever talked to.  She made me, and I think, the rest of the attendees of the writing conference feel like we really mattered and that our work really mattered.

At the conference she talked about her book and about the process and pain she went through to write and publish it.  Now that I have read her story I know why it was so hard.  I also have even more respect for her as a person.  She did not have an upbringing that would typically turn out such a genuinely kind person.  To say that Cady was taken advantage of as a child by her parents and others close to her would be an understatement of epic proportions.  Her experiences are nearly unbelievable, so heart wrenching, so raw, and yet she tells it like it is.  Her ability to put her life on the page with no holds barred is what kept me reading.  I finished this book in about 2 sittings.  I just could not stop.  She is proof that a person can come through devastation, can learn from mistakes of others and herself, and in the end can learn to trust in humanity again.

When our workshop was over and I was saying goodbye to Cady, she gave me a hug (or let me give her one).  I didn't think anything of it.  She was just that sort of warm, sweet person.  The kind of person who you want to hug.  After reading her book, I look back at that moment now and see something a little more special.  Trusting someone to be in her personal space like that is a big deal, and she trusted me.  Thanks, Cady! Thanks for sharing yourself with me, with other aspiring writers, and with the world.

Check out Cady's website here to find out more about her and to get your own copy of this amazing read.

Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month, and over at www.writersdigest.com they are doing a Poem a Day Challenge.  I have participated in nearly all of the prompts, so please go check it out if you feel the need.  I really wanted to share the poem I wrote for yesterday's challenge.  The prompt was to write about an animal, and I couldn't help but thinking of the images that came to me during the Write the Dream conference I went to back in March.  If you know my dad you know what I mean about him drawing everyone and everything in.  Love you, Dad!

Horses and My Dad

In a dream he

walked toward me

across green pasture

from beneath the trees

They followed him out

from all around

trusting where he led

I woke and wondered

what it meant

A cowboy

trailed by horses

And then I knew

the truth I saw

My dad just

draws souls in

Yet he will always

come to me

if I am lost from him

Write the Dream Writer's Conference Experience

This past weekend I had one of the most fantastic experiences of my life.  I attended the first ever Write the Dream Writer’s Conference, hosted by Studio Z Publishing at Bartle Hall, here in Kansas City, MO.  It was their first conference and my first conference.  Writers from all over the area were in attendance. There were writers with little to no publishing experience, like me, writers with dozens of publication credits, and writers everywhere in between.

In my daily life, people know I like to write, but I don’t ever call myself a writer.  I’m a teacher and a mom and a wife, who likes to plunk out some creative words from time to time.  But at this conference, I was a writer who happens to do all of those other things.  I didn’t feel like I was bragging when I talked about the three pieces I've published.  I didn’t feel silly talking about my genre or lack of genre.  People weren’t poking fun or joking when they said, “That could be a book!”  They meant it, and I realized, that could be a book!

 

Cady McClain, best known for her roles on several soap operas, but who is talented is so many other ways, was the keynote speaker on Friday night.  I was in awe of her from the moment I realized in my online search that she played “Dixie” on All My Children when I was a kid.  Visions of the TV in the little apartment where my babysitter, Alice, watched my brother and me flashed in my mind.  Dixie was a young blonde character wearing bright puffy sleeves in the show we watched over lunch.  Somewhere up in Heaven Alice was smiling down on me as I listened to Cady’s inspirational words.

 

After hearing her speak, I have decided to take her advice, which you can find in full here on her blog.  My writer self is a child that I have to nurture with kind words and feelings.  I will not listen to the bully voice that tells me I am not good enough.  I will put that voice aside, protect my writer from it.  I will find a way to feed the fire of creativity everyday.  And, I will thank God and Alice that I went to this conference because of their nudge.

On Saturday, I spent the day listening to several speakers hurry through information about a myriad of topics.  In the whirlwind that it was, I learned about where to get started with self-publishing, how to market, what to write off on my taxes, where to spend my money if I have it to spend, and so many other little things that I filled 10 pages in my journal with notes.  All of the information was invaluable.

On Sunday, I skipped church and spent some time with God.  I’m not kidding here.  The workshop led by Cady was called “Dreamscaping.”  I literally had a dream while I was wide-awake.  Cady led us through a visualization of a scene.  She prompted us to think about all of the senses involved in the situations she was suggesting to us. 

After the visualization, which could have only come from a higher power, we all sat to work writing down everything we could remember.  I came out of it with several pages of scribbled notes followed by a few more pages of all the things I forgot about.  This first writing was emotional, but I was not prepared for the emotions that would flow when the group of six of us came back together to share our experience aloud.  I am not going to tell you any of their stories, nor will I tell you mine at this point.  It was all much too intense and personal.  I will say that I won’t soon forget the images and the tears these words produced for each of us.  Pictures of beach grass, red birds, horses, white bags, picket fences, golden angels, and lakes will exist in my memory files forever.

During this discussion Cady gave individual suggestions to each of as to how we could expand on the ideas the dream gave us.  She suggested things like poetry, exploration of another character involved, or writing from the point of view of someone or something else in the dream.  This process yielded yet another round of touching pieces, more discussion, and finally more suggestions for taking the work further. 

I cannot comment as to the effect this had on the other members of the group in specific terms, but I do know we all experienced something profound.  We are now linked to each other because of the words we trusted ourselves to share.  I will feel the presence of their encouragement each time I sit to write and when I feel the fear of being rejected by my inner critic.  They will be there rallying for me to keep going.

As I write this, images of the play I have been encouraged to create are flashing frantically through my head.  I am scared to write it, but not so scared that I won’t try.  And for that, I will be forever thankful.