Measuring Up

I wrote this about a year ago, but for some reason, I feel like sharing today.  So, to be completely transparent, I am now 36, but I feel the same way about these girls now and forever.  See you tonight ladies.

"Measuring Up"

I have finally come to a place in my life where I’m not worried about “measuring up.”  My girlfriends have led me to this place of solace, and the funny thing about this is, until I met them, I never needed a big group of girlfriends.

All of my life, I have had close friendships with several individual girls.  The problem for me always came when I was subjected to the group.  Groups of girls can be very exclusionary and competitive, but I am a natural mediator, the seer of both sides.  Unfortunately, wanting both sides often left me alone.  So, I stuck to my one-on-one friendships, and when I got older, I stuck with the guys.  It was just easier.

And then I got married and moved to a new city.  I had friends at work, but I was 24 and my youngest co-worker was 40.  My husband may regret this, but he told me I needed to find some friends.  He was more right than I would ever know as he showed me an ad in the paper for a Girl’s Night Out event at a church near our home. 

I went. Alone. I stepped into a gigantic group of women that I had never met and instantly thought that I could never measure up.  It was terrifying, but I stayed, and I actually had fun.  Among the stations set up for us to do all manner of girly things were sign up sheets for groups we might be interested in joining. I was thrilled to put my name down on the Book Club list. I had no idea in that moment I was changing my life and my vision of myself in unimaginable ways.

I didn’t know it, but I was entering a stage in my life that needed other women.  I was blessed to find the women who would become my solid ground and my sanity, my support and my sounding board.  Over the last 11 years they have allowed me to throw out the measuring tape.

Because of these women, I know that my husband isn’t the only husband in the world who can be infuriating.  My kids aren’t the only kids who won’t eat vegetables.  I’m not the only mom who won’t fight that battle every day.  In any given moment, I am doing my very best, and that is enough.

The Book Club has changed and grown over the years just as each one of us has changed. We are all amazingly different, talented in a myriad of ways, with our own faults and beliefs. We make each other laugh with abandon and the occasional snort. We give advice without judgment. We offer shoulders or high fives. And in times of great need, a glass of wine or three are never far away.  I need these women in my life like I need air.  They make my life full and vibrant.

Now, at the age of 35, in the same moment that I am realizing that I don’t have to “measure up,” I am also realizing that I probably always have. 

I Love Books

There are very few things that I would rather do than read a book.  In fact, if I am not currently living in the world of a good book, I get very irritable and tend towards a mini-depressive state.  Because I know that about myself, I often have 2 or 3 books going and about 20 on reserve at my bedside or on my Kindle.  I always ask for books for gifts and they are usually my favorite presents.  I check out tons of things from the library even though I know I won't get to them before they are due.  I have no idea if I am like other readers in the obsessions that I have with particular books.  I go back to certain ones and read them again and again.  Others, I don't read more than once, but they just become a part of me.

Though my life is nothing that I need to escape from, I revel in the escape of words and worlds and wonders that are created inside my mind.  I love learning and delving into the topics and people that are coming alive on the pages for me.  My favorite real life people (besides my dear husband and children, of course) are the people who will talk "books" with me.  My mom, my book club girls, the librarian at my school, the substitute teachers who bring me books they've finished and loved.  And so before I get sappy and philosophical on you about why books are life... on to the real point.

Recently, I've been reading a lot more than usual. This means I am reading a lot, a lot instead of just a lot.  This is partly do to the fact I had 2 weeks off from work for Christmas Break and partly due to the fact that it has been so cold.  I don't want to do anything but cozy up in bed with a book and a hot cup of tea.

I've read some great ones in these last few weeks and I would like to share what I think about them here in the next few posts.  Come back soon for my thoughts on Murdering My Youth by Cady McClain, this star won't go out by Ester Earl with Lori and Wayne Earl, The Clan of the Cave Bear Series by Jean M. Auel, and a re-read of Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon.

I have been touched personally in some way by each of these titles and I believe that is what makes a "good read."  So, I won't be evaluating them for their literary value (though they definitely have it), I will be telling you why they work for me and how they have changed my thinking or encouraged me to do better or be better.  I will let you know why they stuck because lots of books don't.  The books that stick are the books worth reading.  And if in the next few weeks you happen to pick up one of these titles, come back and let me know what you thought.

My Murdering My Youth post will be up sometime in the next couple of days.

Spring Break 2014

As I am sitting alone in my house in the middle of a weekday...wait what?  Yeah, this is weird and really awesome!  I watched a movie by myself this morning, a grown up movie.  Blue Jasmine is the only Academy nominated movie (for adults) that I have seen this year.  (I've seen Frozen, twice.)  I'm really glad I watched it, but it ended rather abruptly.  My book club book from last night, The Other Typist, ended strangely too.  I still don't think any of us really know what happened.

Anyway, this week has been filled with little blessings that truly have made it feel like a vacation.  Lynn got to celebrate her BFF's birthday at a bowling party on Saturday.  It was sweet to see the girls interact.  They literally squeal every time they see each other.

After the party we headed to Des Moines to stay the night en route to Dubuque.  The wonderful car ride was a blessing that was repeated Sunday morning and on Wednesday coming back.  I'm not being sarcastic here.  The kids were amazing in the car.  Finally, they can occupy themselves without driving anyone too crazy.

Mimi time in Dubuque was relaxed but fun.  We visited a bounce house on Monday morning for a couple of hours.  Later, we had dinner together at Texas Road House.  Joe's quote of the night was, "Ahhh, the sweet smell of Texas."  After dinner, Mimi took the kids home where they camped out on the living room floor to watch movies and stay up late.  Dan and I headed out to the casino.  I was up for awhile, and then I was down, and then just when I was about to quit, I won $97.  If I had an addictive personality, I would probably still be there trying to win more, but I was happy to triple my money and walk out the door.  When we got back Joe was still up.  This was our indication that we are in fact, old.  He told us we should have stayed out longer, but 9:30 is past my bedtime.  It was nice to sleep in a little on Tuesday morning.

Early Tuesday, Dan took Joe on a little drive.  They went to three states in about 10 minutes.  Dubuque is on the border of Iowa with Wisconsin and Illinois.  So, over two different bridges they went.  Joe was thrilled by the novelty of this.  Later in the day we went to the Mississippi River Museum.  There was a turtle exhibit that we all loved.  We also got to see something that doesn't happen very often.  The alligator that they have at the museum was being fed for the first time in a few months.  This was because they had given her a hibernation period where they didn't feed her and they lowered the temp in her enclosure to simulate the wild.  They fed her three or four big white rats.  The volunteer who was explaining things to us said she wouldn't eat for another few weeks, so we were lucky to see it.

Tuesday night we all camped out to watch Frozen since it was delivered in the mail that day.  I shouldn't complain about seeing it twice since I do like the movie and because it was Mimi's 3rd time seeing it.  She is a great Mimi.

On Wednesday we headed home, leaving snow for the warmer weather of Kansas City.  The drive was uneventful and perfect.  Then I got to go to book club.  And now here I am, alone.  I think I will go take a nap, in my hammock.  Bye!

Christmas Break 2013

As always, the entire family was looking forward to this break.  Though the semester went really fast, it also seemed really hectic.  It is very refreshing to have a couple of weeks away from all of our normal obligations. 

My last day at work was amazingly fun filled.   The entire building, staff, students, and administrators, took part in creating a Lip Dub that is now posted on YouTube here.  (Click on that different colored "here" in the last sentence to watch the video.)Watch closely around 4:55 and you might see me holding a copy of The Great Gatsby in the background.  Our Oak Park family really needed this.  Our new administration team (wearing the crazy Christmas get-ups) has been very successful in bringing back the spirit of the Northmen.  Joe and Lynn have watched the video a few times, and they are even more eager to become Northmen than they were before.

The biggest highlight of the week was that Dan’s mom, Ann, was here.  She came with us to the Christmas Eve service at the church of one of my students.  He invited our family to join his family, and I couldn’t say no.  It was a very well done, short, and sweet service.  There were refreshments afterwards, and everyone there was so kind and welcoming to us.  I love our church, but this small church was a very nice change of pace, and we all felt the true spirit and meaning of Christmas during our time there.  I didn’t miss the hip-to-hip crowds that we would have experienced at our church on Christmas Eve at all. 

  This year was the first time Mimi got to be with the kids for Christmas morning.  I think she enjoyed it.  She got up with them and helped them “organize the gifts” so we could sleep in a bit.  I wasn’t able to sleep, but it was great to get to listen to the conversations among the three of them.  Once we started opening presents we tried to prolong the event as much as possible with breaks for mimosas, coffee, and our traditional Breakfast Casserole.  Both kids were really sweet about taking turns and making sure we all had gifts to open.  Aunt Jill’s tape job (Thank you for volunteering to wrap the majority of our gifts!  I hate wrapping.)  on the packages and the more than adequately bubble wrapped and peanut filled box from Auntie Mary also kept the festivities going a little longer.  After the packages were all opened, we all settled in to enjoy our new things.  Favorites:

Dan: Chicago Cutlery Knife Set

Me: Jurassic Park Sweatshirt and a note in a card that made me cry from my parents.  I have the best parents!

Joe: 1500 Pokémon Cards (not an exaggeration, Dan found the mother load on e-bay) and Kindle Fire HDX from Santa

Lynn: Make-up box and Kindle Fire HDX from Santa

Mimi: Kindle Reader from her three kids

Dan made a wonderful roast with potatoes and carrots in the crock-pot for dinner.  Jill and Brian came over the evening.  We had a bit of wine and great conversation.  Brian surprised Joe with a signed baseball from a Royals player.  The greatest moment however, was presenting Charlie, Jill and Brian’s dog, with a new toy…his very own pair of Grinch underwear.  After hearing that he regularly steals and runs around the house with any undies he can get his paws on, we knew we had to get him some for Christmas.  I haven’t laughed so hard in a really long time about anything.

Dan had to go back to work the day after Christmas, so Mimi and I decided we needed to entertain the kids.  On Thursday we decided to take advantage of our membership to Union Station.  We drove down after lunch and went to our first moving on the Extreme Screen.  I was amazed that the tickets were only $5 and our membership got us a free bag of popcorn.  It was so worth it that I can’t wait to see another movie there soon.  Walking with Dinosaurs was a spectacular film.  It was highly entertaining and educational at the same time.  We all laughed out loud and learned something as well.  Even, Joe, the dinosaur expert learned some new things.  I can’t say that we all cried, but one of us did.  Lynn is my super sensitive kiddo.  She had tears streaming during what I like to call the “Bambi” moment of the movie.  I hope no one considers that a “spoiler.”  How else is the runt supposed to set out on his own in an animated movie if his parents don’t die? Unfortunately, Lynn hasn’t had enough experience to see that one comin’. 

After the movie we went on up to Science City.   Lynn was able to light up one display by spinning a huge wheel around.  Joe decided he wanted to try the high wire bike.  He was exactly the minimum height necessary to go on it.  I was certainly more scared about him being able to do it than he was.  He went up the stairs, got strapped it, peddled out backwards, peddled back forwards, unbuckled, and came back down the stairs.  He was proud of himself, but I am pretty sure he thought the gushing from Mimi and Mommy was completely unnecessary.  Are seven year olds supposed to be “too cool” for Mom’s high fives?  Well, he let me do it anyway, so I will call that good.  It ended up being a very successful day.  The kids zonked out that evening and Dan, Ann, and I ended the night with some good games of Words With Friends. 

The weather was amazing on Friday, so we decided to hit the zoo to introduce Mimi to the penguins.  When we arrived, Nekita, the polar bear jumped into the water and began playing with a large plastic barrel.  It was really fun to see him push it as far down as he could and then see it spring back up to the surface.  He also did his requisite swim around to push off the glass where all the people watch him.  I could watch him do that all day and then go home, but we had to get to the penguins. 

The new exhibit for the penguins is fantastic.  There is an outdoor viewing area at the front entrance.  Upon entering, there is a large viewing area of the enclosure along with displays of a few types of fish and jellyfish.  Our favorite part of the exhibit is around the corner from the main viewing area.  As you go down a hallway that looks like the exit to the building, there are several different areas that give views of the penguins under the water.  In one area there is a set of steps to sit on to watch.  All four of us sat down to watch and were just mesmerized.  The penguins were chasing each other in what looked like a game of underwater tag.  One was picking up a rock from the bottom, dropping it, and then diving down to get it again.  A feather that was floating around fooled many of the penguins.  They all kept trying to eat it.  This was apparently very funny for all of the kids watching.  Our last stop before the carousel was the Tropics building.  All of the monkeys in the exhibit were more active than I have ever seen them.  We sat for a snack and watched them watch us.  There are times that I am sure we are just as entertaining to them as they are to us.  On our way home we stopped at my favorite store, The Hillcrest Thrift Store.  We didn’t find anything to mind blowing, but it is always fun to look around.

The weekend was pretty low key and relaxing.  We went to the Y on Saturday morning to swim.  Then later in the afternoon we met Jill and Brian for our first ever meal at Stroud’s.  Thankfully we were close to the beginning of the line that formed before they opened at 2:00.  We didn’t have to wait long at all for a table.  The chicken noodle soup, fried chicken, sliced potatoes, and cinnamon buns were all amazing.  The kids really liked their burgers as well.  We will definitely go back again.  Dan and I went out to do a little shopping on Saturday night while Mimi put the kids to bed.   We ended up buying an area rug for our living room.  I love it, and it should last a really long time.  Ann made fun of us for coming home so early, but I was wiped out.  This girl likes her 9:00 bed time.

On Sunday, as we arrived at church, we had the horrible realization that there was no Sunday School.  Fortunately there were activity bags provided that were semi-entertaining.  Joe really didn’t like the change of schedule, but he ended up handling it.  Ann was so great to help Dan with our coffee cup washing duty while I kept the kiddos happy.  It was also great to spend a little time talking with a new friend that I met through my Book Club.  We had been going to the same church for a long time, but hadn’t met.  I hope she becomes a regular member of the Book Club.

The weather turned really cold on Sunday, so we stayed in all afternoon.  We all rested, played on our tablets, read, and played a few games of Left, Center, Right with Lynn.  She is one competitive little girl.  Thanks to her dad, at 5 years old, she is already a pro at talking “smack.” “You’re goin’ down Mommy!”

Mimi had to head back to Dubuque yesterday morning.  We were all so sad to see her go.  By last night, Joe was already saying how much he missed her.  He really does love being surrounded by family. 

So that is week one in review.  I did clean out my closet and do some lesson planning yesterday, so now I am feeling free to finish reading a couple of books and to tackle some more writing projects before this break is over.  I won’t have guests again until Easter.  I can worry about cleaning the house then.

Happy New Year!  May you enjoy each day you have and each person you have to the fullest in the coming year.  Smile more, laugh more, write more, and for goodness sakes, yell a little less too.  Oh, wait, that was me talking to myself…anyway, be happy.  It really is more fun!